Soap Opera? No it's my lfe.

After some consideration I don't really want to be involved with the young boy. It's just so hard going through all of this all alone that I am having a hard time seperating all of my emotions.
My husband called on saturday crying and upset wanting to apologize and make amends for all the wrong he did to me. I was glad to be able to talk about things with him in a closure kind of way but thrown for a loop when he asked if I would go out on a date with him. He doesn't know about the pregnancy, it's not the kind of thing you really bring up with your ex over the phone when you haven't spoken about more than money matters in a year. He was so upset about everything that I told him I would think about the date. I am sure being such a jealous person he wouldn't even consider it if he knew I was soon to abort another man/boy's baby.
I'm hoping it was a temporary phase of insanity and he will get over it. He came over here on Sunday to take our dog, who I have custody of to the park for the first time in a year so I'm not so sure he'll drop the issue. If he forces my hand I will have to tell him about the baby.
I swear I don't make this stuff up it is really my life.
Also today I cracked under the pressure I was bawling on the bus on the way to work then threw up once I got there so had to leave sick. I don't have any sick days left so may get fired over this. I didn't want to come home and cry as my mom doesn't know about any of this so I went to S's house and he let me bawl and kept me company.
Hopefully I will be able to pull myself together a little bit better than this tomorrow.