Comments
Thanks everyone for their comments and support.
I have a little more time to post than I did this morning so I am going to explain what I think which, sorry to say is really all that matters at this point.
I have no fault with young boys unwillingness to have a kid when he's not ready and with a someone he's not in a relationship with.
I invited him to talk with me about this as I wanted to know his opinions and take them into consideration. I was glad that he was honest about what he thinks but hoping for more of a supportive stance. Something like "I am not ready to be a father and I hope you decide not to keep it but whatever you decide I will do what I can to support you".
Was I surprised by his viewpoint? No.
I was unhappy with his total self absorption, his total lack of empathy for the person who is going through this with him. I would have thought he would have a little more concern for me the person who has to make the decision and who's body this baby is growing in. I knew he was immature but his selfishness was something I just found out. I can look past how this is effecting me a feel bad for him but I guess he can't do the same. I mean in some ways it must be worse to be him. He really has no power here. He can say he doesn't want it until he turns blue in the face but I could still decide to keep it, making him at least financially responsible and at most screwing his life up(as he sees it) forever. I wouldn't want to be waiting around for that decision to be made either. It's probably like I have my finger over top of the little red button of his life right now to him. I said as much to him when we talked and I apologized for not having an answer ready but I just don't right now.
I just wish he could get over himself and give me a little emotional support in making this life altering choice. I was disappointed by that and also totally pissed at him at the same time because I don't have the choices he has. I have to live with my decision forever. For me there will be no running away no, I don't want anything to do with it. I can't move to another town and become a deadbeat dad or just move on so easily knowing I killed or gave away our baby. I know this is just the way it goes, women are the ones who have to get pregnant and it is a joy as well as a heavy burden at times. I know it was partly my fault as well as his and now I have to lie in the bed I made but it even though it does suck I am trying to do my best to make a good decision here.
If I have this baby it will neither be unwanted nor unloved or fucked up any more than other kids. Would it be nice to have 2 parents, a dog and a picket fence? Hell yes. Would it be cruel to have a baby who's father didn't want to be a daddie? NO I don't think so. I know married parents, divorced and remarried parents and single parents. Do any of their children lack for love or nuturing or anything else essential to a happy life? Of course not. Some people have a harder time of it, doing this alone would be neither easy or fun and I'm sure at times it would be downright impossible. It can be done though.
What really makes me sad is to think what a wonderful thing this could be conceiving new life. How this should be a exciting time where all I am worrying about it is making sure I do everything I can to have a healthy baby. There are tons of people who pray every month to be pregnant. When I was trying to get pregnant with my husband there were times when my period would come and I would be in tears that's how much I wanted this. A couple years later and I am in tears because I got what I wanted? I guess the ole saying be careful what you wish for is true. So many feeling are involved in this for me which is why it's so hard.
Right now I am working on making the best decision I can. I am taking into consideration the young boys view and weighing all my options and have the support of good friend who will be there for me whatever option I choose.
I have a little more time to post than I did this morning so I am going to explain what I think which, sorry to say is really all that matters at this point.
I have no fault with young boys unwillingness to have a kid when he's not ready and with a someone he's not in a relationship with.
I invited him to talk with me about this as I wanted to know his opinions and take them into consideration. I was glad that he was honest about what he thinks but hoping for more of a supportive stance. Something like "I am not ready to be a father and I hope you decide not to keep it but whatever you decide I will do what I can to support you".
Was I surprised by his viewpoint? No.
I was unhappy with his total self absorption, his total lack of empathy for the person who is going through this with him. I would have thought he would have a little more concern for me the person who has to make the decision and who's body this baby is growing in. I knew he was immature but his selfishness was something I just found out. I can look past how this is effecting me a feel bad for him but I guess he can't do the same. I mean in some ways it must be worse to be him. He really has no power here. He can say he doesn't want it until he turns blue in the face but I could still decide to keep it, making him at least financially responsible and at most screwing his life up(as he sees it) forever. I wouldn't want to be waiting around for that decision to be made either. It's probably like I have my finger over top of the little red button of his life right now to him. I said as much to him when we talked and I apologized for not having an answer ready but I just don't right now.
I just wish he could get over himself and give me a little emotional support in making this life altering choice. I was disappointed by that and also totally pissed at him at the same time because I don't have the choices he has. I have to live with my decision forever. For me there will be no running away no, I don't want anything to do with it. I can't move to another town and become a deadbeat dad or just move on so easily knowing I killed or gave away our baby. I know this is just the way it goes, women are the ones who have to get pregnant and it is a joy as well as a heavy burden at times. I know it was partly my fault as well as his and now I have to lie in the bed I made but it even though it does suck I am trying to do my best to make a good decision here.
If I have this baby it will neither be unwanted nor unloved or fucked up any more than other kids. Would it be nice to have 2 parents, a dog and a picket fence? Hell yes. Would it be cruel to have a baby who's father didn't want to be a daddie? NO I don't think so. I know married parents, divorced and remarried parents and single parents. Do any of their children lack for love or nuturing or anything else essential to a happy life? Of course not. Some people have a harder time of it, doing this alone would be neither easy or fun and I'm sure at times it would be downright impossible. It can be done though.
What really makes me sad is to think what a wonderful thing this could be conceiving new life. How this should be a exciting time where all I am worrying about it is making sure I do everything I can to have a healthy baby. There are tons of people who pray every month to be pregnant. When I was trying to get pregnant with my husband there were times when my period would come and I would be in tears that's how much I wanted this. A couple years later and I am in tears because I got what I wanted? I guess the ole saying be careful what you wish for is true. So many feeling are involved in this for me which is why it's so hard.
Right now I am working on making the best decision I can. I am taking into consideration the young boys view and weighing all my options and have the support of good friend who will be there for me whatever option I choose.
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